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Perches

2011-11-08T18:19:00.000-08:00

One thing my cat Kimba seems to miss in the new place is window seating. I thought she would enjoy viewing trees, birds, and the ocassional deer from the bedroom, but instead prefers keeping tabs on building visitors and the number 15 bus from the living room. My sills are narrow and the casement windows rule out most feline shelving so I had to resort to carpeted cat furniture to provide comfortable viewing options. Fortunately a small mom and pop company in Gainesville let me pick a carpet color other than beige! She barely let me get her new perch out of the box before she climbed to the top and behaved as though I had dropped ecstasy in her water bowl.

Of course then I felt badly that my other cat Nicky did not have his own perch but was reluctant to devote any more real estate to cat furniture so I ordered Feline Cloud Shelves. They have been more of a hit with people rather than the cats. I had to coax Nicky on the shelves with catnip and he only ocassionally uses them. Now that the leaves are falling there is a better view of the neighboring complex's trash dumpster out the back window so there is hope the clouds will catch on.

I Can't Believe It's a Litter Box!

2011-10-16T08:22:00.001-07:00

Originally submitted at Wayfair

Looks like a cat planetarium

By msarthur from Silver Spring, MD on 10/16/2011

I will refrain from posting a photo of my cat using this product. But it looks great! My medium size cat (I think she is around 13 pounds) gets around in it just fine. I would not get this box for a big cat. It is very easy to clean and the filter controls odor.

I can't believe it's a cat box!

(legalese)

Cat Scratcher Fever!

2011-10-16T08:09:00.001-07:00

Originally submitted at Wayfair

Cats love it and it looks great!!

By msarthur from Silver Spring, MD on 10/16/2011

I am very vain about my home decor yet my life revolves around the cats which can create a dilemna when they take over the living room with their toys and accessories. My cats love this scratcher and it is incredibly stylish. It actually looks good next to the panton chair! Delivery was prompt.

Looks great!

Tags: Picture of Product

(legalese)

Like Flynn

2011-08-12T04:25:00.000-07:00

Finally I am in the new place. The cats love it! I couldn't have imagined all the mortgage finance drama and schlepping in 100+ degree heat being worth it unless Oprah showed up at the door with car keys. However just the liberation from beige carpeting alone has justified the effort. It is a little sad that I am alone here, but then again, I am not sure I could find a partner who would go along with my color scheme. The only women who appreciate my aesthetics are straight which is not at all helpful. Here are some shots of the new place.

Um...I don't think this encourages home sales

2011-06-26T07:05:00.000-07:00

View Larger Map
The map above shows where I will be moving if I can get PNC mortgage to approve my loan!! Their underwriters have provided numerous last-minute "gotcha" moments that have delayed my close twice so far. The day before my first scheduled close the processor informed me that not all the paperwork had been completed. The next day was spent on standby while revised owner occupancy numbers traveled from e-mail boxes to various desks for approval. Then Wednesday, I was informed the mortgage underwriter would not approve the loan until my rental payment history from the past year was verified. Why this information wasn't requested earlier during this two-month application process remains a mystery. I was hoping to close on Friday but Thursday evening a new wrinkle surfaced: the mortgage insurance underwriter cited a randomly enforced federal regulation requiring proper egress from the bedroom. A welder removed safety bars from one of the windows and the mortgage guy sent photos of the completed work to the MI people this weekend. I am hoping to close tomorrow though at the same time I am wondering what documentation they might want next...SAT scores? Dental records?

A Different Form of Sampling

2011-06-26T06:43:00.001-07:00

Back in November I adopted a dog who is trapped in a cat's body. Nicky (formerly Mikey) ended up at Greenbelt Animal Shelter because his owner moved to an apartment that didn't accept pets. Kimba is less lonely now although she does not appreciate being chased around by a big black cat.

Unfortunately when I started packing, Nicky started thinking outside the box. Though the most likely cause is anxiety created by all the moving upheaval, I wanted to rule out a UTI or urinary crystals since either can lead to a fatal blockage if left untreated. Nicky wasn't able to produce a urine sample for the vet on an initial visit, so I had to drop him off one morning on my way to work so he could sit in a cage all day until he had a donation ready. At 4:30 pm I received a distressing call from the vet informing me that Nicky had "flipped out" during the collection procedure, and the technician was having to go to the hospital.

Needless to say they didn't get a sample this time either so I was given a home test kit consisting of plastic cat litter, a syringe, and a test tube. I isolated Nicky in my bedroom last night with a brand new cat box containing the non-absorbant plastic litter. I was not optimistic that this approach would work, but at 5am on Sunday I was awakened by the dulcet tones of Nicky scratching the plastic litter! Despite the early hour I was able to gather the urine and transfer it to the test tube with the syringe like an enthusiastic chemistry student. Mission accomplished!! Now I just have to drive over to Bethesda tomorrow and drop off the sample.

Moving On

2011-05-01T17:44:00.001-07:00

Long time no talk!! A couple of weeks ago my life entered a real estate buying labyrinth littered with endless forms to complete. My friends tell me it will be worth it in the end, when I can stand in the middle of a 2 bedroom co-op adjacent to Sligo Creek Park and savor the responsibility of home-ownership. In the meantime I am fixated on picking out colorful paint swatches and obsessing about furniture placement. Stay tuned!

George: 1992-2010

2010-11-20T09:30:00.001-08:00

Two days before my 44th birthday I was enjoying a pleasant Sunday in front of my computer. George was on my lap, pawing at my hand and demanding to be petted. The next moment he started having a coughing fit. The drive to the emergency vet seemed to take forever as he struggled for breath in his carrier and I navigated streets of Rockville that I would otherwise avoid. The news at the vet was not good--he had a tumor in his lung and an embolism. I had to make the gut-wrenching decision to put him to sleep. It was surreal to have him on my lap at 2pm, and return to my apartment at 4pm with only his collar, which I hung on a memorial doorknob in my bedroom that also holds the collars of my departed cats Arthur and Anastacia along with my late mother's watch.

I was thankful that I had George for 19 long years. I may not have been around for his end of life were it not for a miracle that occurred in 1992 before the advent of the internet, micro-chip IDs, and community listservs: George returned to us after getting out of the house and going missing for 6 weeks. After receiving a call from the local shelter that a nuetered male tabby had been found on my street, I sent my then-boyfriend over to see if it was him. George announced his presence to him in a room full of similar tabby cats.

He was truly an amazing cat with an enormous personality that was possessive, affectionate, and engaging. He grudgingly accepted the attention of my cat Kimba for the last 18 months of his life, and a gallery showing of George and Kimba's surveillance footage two days after his death (embedded below) served as a wonderful tribute to his life. I hope he is at peace now and playing with Arthur and Anastacia.

Meowpolis

2010-09-06T05:58:00.000-07:00

George and Kimba's surveillance video has been accepted for inclusion at the Meowpolis art show, at Whole Gallery in Baltimore Maryland. The opening is October 19, and doors will open at 7 or 8pm for a 10pm show.

Here is the address:

H&H Arts Building
405 W. Franklyn St.
3rd Floor
Baltimore, MD 21201

Hope to see you there!!!

Breaking Up Is Hard to do in the Facebook Era

2010-09-05T14:03:00.000-07:00

I just broke up with my gf of five years last night. It was a breakup conducted in reasoned tones over wine, though when I woke up sober a few hours later and realized I was sleeping next to someone I was no longer in a relationship with, I fled the house and drove home in the middle of the night with my flat screen monitor and laptop so as to make an awkward "stuff" exchange unnecessary later. The perfectly nerdy dramatic exit.

The relationship had been stormy, but PTSD brought on by memories of my disastrous online dating experiences and my sense of dim prospects were an adhesive. However when she bought a house over the summer I realized the relationship was a bit of a dead end. Although I have adjusted well and actually enjoy living alone I know deep down I ultimately want a partner. Someone to share my life with. The fact she hadn't been to my apartment in 6 months due to cat allergies led to feelings of alienation, and her demanding work and parental visitation schedule left her little time to spend with me.

Unfortunately I shot myself in the foot by suggesting the "maybe we should see other people" strategy of relationship salvaging during an aborted break-up attempt two weeks previously. Little did I know one of her friends was waiting in the wings. A friend who conveniently lives nearby. And will no doubt get more of her time and attention than I ever received.

Thankfully, despite the incestuousness of the lesbian scene, my now ex-gf lives about 10 miles away, and is "out of network"--in other words, our friendship circles don't overlap. No one will have to worry about which half of a split couple to invite to their party. But Facebook is another matter. Thankfully the bisexual relationship vulture is not my friend on Facebook, but a lot of her friends are. Do I still want to be their friends? I know I will never be going back to my ex's town for fear of vulture sightings, but a FB exile seems a little extreme. Fortunately my ex is an infrequent poster, but do I really want to see what events she is RSVPing to? And then when to change your relationship status to single? Seeing the red heart on the newsfeed is even more heartbreaking than the actual breakup. And when is my ex going to change her status? I guess she doesn't need to now that I think about it--the most painful realization of all.

Staycation

2010-07-30T08:31:00.002-07:00

I have always envied friends who take a week off the grid and attend artist retreats in remote reaches of the northeast. So I tried to design my own retreat last week based on the creative hibernation of February's snowpocolypse. However, though I did manage to finish a few tracks for the next ALP CD, "Deeper" I couldn't avoid confronting the frightfully frustrating sensation of creative erectile dysfunction. It wasn't until the end of the week when faced with the prospect of an imminent return to the workweek that ideas started to flow and I got my groove back. Clearly inspiration has its own timetable, and often occurs as a distraction from the rest of my life. At least I have clean closets now. And I amused my friends with my staycation photos.

Not In Kansas Anymore

2010-05-10T17:38:00.000-07:00

Chely Wright had everything going for her: she was beautiful, musically gifted, and wildly successful. However, a secret she concealed for almost 20 years threatened to destroy her fairy-tale career if exposed; yet keeping it hidden almost drove her to suicide. Chely, an all-American country music sex symbol, was gay. And this month she boldly came out in People Magazine, the publication that had deemed her one of its 50 most beautiful people almost a decade earlier.

Lesbians nationwide asked a resounding WHO?!? as the news spread around the internet. I was one of those people who had to look her up in Wikipedia. But the more I learn about her through TV interviews and her well-written, down-to-earth memoir Like Me, the more I admire her bravery. And the more I talk to friends who grew up in rural areas where country music is the soundtrack of life, I better understand how important this is for dismantling gay stereotypes and prejudice in middle America.

No one who has endured the painful and futile process of trying to deny and change something as intrinsic as sexual orientation can view this as a publicity stunt--foolish speculation that appears in internet comments that vacillate between resounding support and harsh judgement. Wright's account of her high school years, during which she was tormented by crushes on women, and making out with men "bored and frightened" her, will resonate with many lesbians regardless of where they grew up.

Wright also endured the added burden of reconciling her orientation with her strong religious faith. Initially she thought she had a birth defect until she visited a diner with her parents and found herself unable to keep her eyes off the waitress' breasts, and noticed she was wearing a "God Don't Make Mistakes" T-shirt. The Lord works in mysterious ways!

Coming to terms with ones' sexuality when surounded by goths who watched the Hunger and hipsters who listened to the Smiths is one thing--confronting lesbian tendencies in socially conservative Kansas is quite another. I hope Nashville supports Wright because it will mean so much for so many kids growing up gay in the heartland.

Though I am still not really a mainstream country music fan I can still appreciate this.

Chloe

2010-05-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

Chloe is a dark though cliche-ridden film that is watchable and engaging thanks to the stellar performance of Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried. Moore plays Catherine, a wealthy gynecologist who appears to have it all, yet is stressed and distressed. She is uptight about her son's adolescent sexual activity, her own aging, and most of all, her professor husband's flirtations with his young students. In fact, it is a text message from a female student after her husband has missed his own birthday party that leads Catherine to suspect he is cheating on her, so she hires the young prostitute, Chloe, (Seyfried) to flirt with him and report back to her about how he responds.

This leads to a series of encounters between the women in which Chloe arouses Catherine by recounting sexual trysts with her husband. Seyfried plays the ingenue with a hidden agenda to perfection. She is beside herself with joy at being in Catherine's presence, but her ardor becomes increasingly creepy as she continues to pursue Catherine, who is in turn trying desperately to treat their situation as just a business transaction as it spirals out of control.

Amanda Seyfried admitted that she found filming the love scene with Julianne Moore "awkward" but I think she did a very convincing job! This is a worthwhile film provided you can overlook its flaws for the sake of its masterful performances.

Enough about me...

2010-05-07T20:21:00.000-07:00

Passengers on an American Airlines flight from Burbank to DFW a couple of weeks ago may have wondered what was causing a woman in the cabin to laugh hysterically. That was me. And the source of my outbursts was the memoir by Jancee Dunn entitled But Enough About Me: How a Small-Town Girl Went from Shag Carpet to the Red Carpet in which Dunn intersperses episodes of her career as an interviewer with Rolling Stone and MTV2 host with vignettes of her quirky New Jersey upbringing.

In one installment, she describes the horror of having to interview Bono with a huge zit on her forehead. While interviewing Madonna, she tries to conceal her intimidation while seizing an opportunity to check out her bathroom. Meanwhile Dunn dates a succession of hippie slackers and drug-addled music producers only to discover that hipness is a full-time job for which she could only work part time hours.

Dunn's fondness for interview subjects such as Grace Slick, Stevie Nicks, and Dolly Parton is palpable. By contrast she is traumatized by Jennifer Beales, who dresses her down in a restaurant for asking a question deemed too personal, thus teaching the valuable lesson of grabbing the check BEFORE asking the difficult questions.

Though temporarily exiled from her family while trying to please a hip loser boyfriend, she renews her bond with her mother by taking her on a gay cruise to interview Rosie O'Donell, where they are encouraged by diet guru Susie Powter to get in touch with their vaginal energy.

This is a breezy read with valuable lessons and a happy ending as Dunn meets the man she initially spurns but eventually marries. But getting there is half the fun. Highly recommended!

Flying High

2010-04-29T04:16:00.000-07:00

Back in the late 80's I had the misfortune of looking for my first job in a college area that boasted the most over-educated wait-staff in the country: the triangle region of North Carolina. However my dismal job prospects brightened when American Airlines opened their Raleigh/Durham hub.

My two year stint with American required me to wear a headset all day in a monitored setting to assist cranky passengers with their airline reservations. Each evening I experienced nightmares involving 727 seating charts. Since in North Carolina it was your civic duty to smoke, I countered the boredom and frustration by smoking two packs of cigarettes a day, thus making my contribution to the smoke cloud that perpetually hung over the reservations center as though it were a dive bar. Despite the fact that American was an innovative employer that encouraged staff input and brand loyalty, dealing on the phone all day with the general public set a low standard against which my current day job compares favorably.

However American offered a perk that no other job could match. I could check flight loads and list myself as standby for any flight. Then after work before my days off, I would go to the ticket machine in the lobby, and for an employee payroll deduction that amounted to less than metro fare to Dupont Circle, generate a boarding pass. I usually traveled each week back to Florida to rendezvous with a long-distance girlfriend I would later characterize as a “piece of work.” Other weeks I would visit my parents in Orlando. I always took the lunch flight back to Raleigh Durham because it was on a 767 and served a really good turkey and cheese sandwich. This was the closest to a jet-set lifestyle an underachiever like me was ever going to aspire to. It was a workplace where the rhetorical “how was your weekend" received responses such as “ I went to Paris” or “I flew to Atlanta to get a haircut”. These heady times ended when my restlessness with provincial North Carolina led me to DC and a slacker job at a record store.

Fast forward 20 years and I still love airports and I still enjoy flights. Sadly, the food is gone along with the thrill of occupying myself with opening small snack packages. But many rituals remain, such as the AAdvantage pitch as the flight ascends to cruising altitude, and the flight attendants' cabin checks.

This weekend I decided to use the frequent flyer miles accumulated via impulsive credit card purchases to make a quick trip to LA. My ex's brother is the musical director for a play for which he ended up using ALP tracks to segue between sex scenes, and given that my music is typically the backdrop for low rent cable shows such as the A and E Biography of Pee Wee Herman I thought it would be fun to see my music in a more artistic, edgy context. The Blue Room did not disappoint! It featured attractive actors, brief nudity, and incredibly artful lighting. The ALP CDs near the concession stand are going fast. Despite the glamor of LA though, DC National, with its view of the illuminated monuments on the mall, is still the most gorgeous airport to return to.

Snowpocalypse 2010!

2010-02-14T19:02:00.000-08:00

I have tried a few "staycations" and they tend to become just as overscheduled as my workweeks! What I envision being a blissful week of free time becomes consumed by errands and social obligations. I was beginning to think the only way I could achieve the solitude I craved for artistic pursuits would be to stage my own death. But fortunately Mother Nature blessed me with a creative retreat this week. Though I have felt badly for fellow DC-area residents left without power, this week of imposed hibernation has been truly a gift for me! During four days without the day job I managed to:

Finish a remix for the re-release of Pursuit of Happiness and send it off to the mastering master!

Complete the cover art for the above CD

Figure out how to use a joystick to send midi commands to Audio Mulch, a program I plan to use for a live performance in June

Edit video for the same gig

Start some noodling for the next CD

Did my taxes

I also managed to "work from home"--(this included a conference call with consultants!) so my inbox wasn't out of control when I reported back to work.

I felt like this was how life must be like for lottery winners who can quit their day jobs and sleep in every morning. However in the back of my mind I knew at some point it inevitably would start to become too much of a good thing. I was also starting to run out of things--namely hummus and coffee!!

Inexplicably on Thursday night the opm.gov website, which I had been checking in anticipation for closure updates each evening, reported that Federal workers were due back to work on Friday. It seemed that metro's understandably slow recovery from the storm was NOT factored into this decision. After sensing the futility of waiting on a crowded platform for packed trains in the bitter cold Friday morning, I took a bus and two trains to work, for a commuting time of 2 hours and 30 minutes. On the way home from work on Friday, the realization hit that most of my neighborhood's pedestrian real estate is trapped under dirty snow. My surroundings had changed from a winter wonderland to an icy obstacle course that forced confrontations with inconsiderate motorists.

So it has been fun, but I am ready for the ice to melt. Let the countdown to spring begin!!

Sugar Rush

2010-01-01T08:57:00.001-08:00

Sugar Rush is a series that aired on Channel 4 in the UK a few years ago for two seasons. The plot revolves around Kim, a 15 year-old lesbian virgin who is sexually obsessed with her best friend, Sugar, despite the fact Sugar is a promiscuous, selfish, and (worst of all) *straight* juvenile delinquent who takes advantage of Kim's unrequited interest. The action takes place in Brighton, a seaside town that is an upscale, queer version of Ocean City. In season two, Kim avails herself of Brighton's decadent gay pleasures while Sugar is incarcerated. No longer repressed and frustrated, she pursues a life of non-stop partying while dating the DJ goddess of the "Clit Club" who also works at the "Munch Box" sex shop. In the dizzying finale, Kim must choose between love and obsession when things get serious in her relationship. This show should be on every lesbian's watch list and is well worth the price of a region-free DVD player!

Beauty Queens

2009-11-11T17:50:00.000-08:00

I can't get enough of the Carrie Prejean sex tape saga! As you may remember, Prejean voiced her opposition to gay marriage during the Miss USA pageant, and later claimed her strongly-held religious beliefs led to her defeat. Donald Trump rightly refused to fire her for her opinions, but pageant officials let her go when Prejean's new role as evangelical darling interfered with her Miss California duties. She later abruptly dropped a suit she filed against the pageant and its officials after a solo sex tape made for a former boyfriend surfaced.

This incident reminded me of another disgraced beauty queen, Vanessa Williams, the first African-American Miss America who resigned in 1984 after Penthouse published artsy nude photos of her engaging in lesbian activity. In subsequent years, beauty and talent triumphed over scandal. Who could envision that 25 years later Williams would host the daytime Emmy Awards, and perform a musical number that humorously featured a CGI-enhanced lesbian kiss and a lyrical tribute to Ellen DeGeneres?

And in other beauty queen news, Miss England had to relinquish her crown after punching Miss Manchester over a gladiator. You can't make this stuff up!

Google Voice

2009-11-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

Long time no post! I had gigs and work travel yada yada. But one item I attempted over the past couple of months was upgrading my cellular communications. I bought a cheap unlocked QWERTY phone so I can keep up with my smart-phoning verbose texting friends without getting roped into a lengthy contract. Then I set up an account with Google Voice, which promises to transcribe your voicemails into text messages--a useful feature to have if you receive calls at crowded bars. However the messages are kind of cryptic, like foreign spam. Here are some samples:

Yeah. Hey, Bev. It's, Matt actually get the heritage and get them tonight. I thought of. We're supposed to be so give me a call back. I am now back. I'm just leaving you know where you normally work actually, so all B, E, A, Pensacola parking about half an hour. I hope you know. I think that for traffic. Our so. Anyway, hope to see you tonight. Let me know if it's search of January. Okay, bye bye

Hi Bev. It's, Paul scale unfeeling at assist you with Lee and attic. Leah rambunctious tonight and I hope you're enjoying our night Cabela's.

Hey, I have a chat emptied. Hope responding that trap.

Thankfully I am not paying for this service!

Ignore Everybody!!

2009-09-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

A lot of people asked me if I have ever considered doing music full time. The answer is yes, with varying degrees of realistic expectation. In my twenties I was in a band that collectively fantasized we would eventually get signed and quit our day jobs. The odds of this were as slim as winning at powerball. When I reached my thirties, I confronted the reality that whatever ship I was waiting for was not coming. I managed to teach myself html to at least get a web job, which provided some skill overlap with music promotion. A few years later, when my living expenses were low, I worked part-time in a recording studio and toyed with the idea of music as a full-time gig via production work and remixes. However, I quickly tired of expending so much creative energy--more than I have ever expended at a day job--on other people's projects because it left me with no inspiration for my own. Plus, I saw the extent to which my full-time musician friends, for whom I have the utmost respect and admiration, had to make ends meet by playing wedding gigs and following the directives of philistines.

I decided I was much better off spending my days doing internet advocacy work for causes I believe in and not relying on music to pay the bills. Although I do make about 15% of my income from music, this consists of royalties paid on tracks I have produced without commercial intent and later licensed. Some people might characterize this as "selling out" but I consider the 9 to 5 part of my day more of a compromise--one that I am willing to make for the sake of financial stability so I can feel less regimented and inhibited when I work on music.

I recently read a book that articulated a no-nonsense route to achieving fulfillment in creative pursuits. Unlike other books in which the author is able to reject the humdrum life of a working stiff and miraculously embrace a world of abundance and self-fulfillment (by writing self help books), Ignore Everybody: and 39 Other Keys to Creativity is saturated with common sense, helpful creative hints, and powerful yet restrained proclamations that don't call for faith in the universe so much as independent thought, self-reliance, and hard work. Hugh MacLeod has made a career out of drawing acerbic observations on the backs of business cards-- a practice that began while working as a copywriter in New York. He sees no disgrace in having a day job, in fact he reasons a day job can co-exist with a creative pursuits, and protect art from being diluted or exploited, because once an artist accepts money for their art they have relinquished control: "Art suffers the moment other people start paying for it. The more you need the money, the more people will tell you what to do. The less control you will have. The more bullshit you will have to swallow. The less joy it will bring. Know this and plan accordingly." He also disparages scenesters who are looking for shortcuts while their true artist counterparts are working at home in solitude. He has practical advice for writer's block: "If you have something to say, then say it...Trying to create when you don't feel like it is like making conversation for the sake of making conversation."

The book read like he was writing directly to me! But I suspect his message resonates with lots of folks that got into the arts for diverse reasons and ended up in a lifelong romance that many appreciate but fewer seem to understand.

Fascination Street

2009-09-02T18:14:00.000-07:00

The bungalow-lined street that runs behind my apartment building to Georgia Avenue appears standard issue Montgomery County at first glance: proliferation of Priuses? Check! Lawns graced with Obama/Biden signs? Check! Speed bumps? Check! But my daily ¾ mile walking commute down Silver Spring Avenue has revealed its unique character. The kids are polite. The pets are friendly. The gardens are beautifully landscaped with flowers continuously in bloom. People of diverse countries of origin engage in spontaneous conversation. And most shocking of all, and in stark contrast to the denizens of my previous address, Thayer Avenue, the residents of Silver Spring Avenue say hello to me as I pass. As if this wasn't enough, the kids at the nearby elementary school write affirmations in chalk on the sidewalk such as “You are so smart!” and “Have a great day!” Oddly enough, crime novelist George Pelecanos lives nearby, but does not appear to derive inspiration from this locale, at least from what I have read of his work!

One World

2009-08-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

When it come to portrayals in popular culture, from The Children's Hour to Basic Instinct and beyond, lesbians have generally been portrayed at best as doomed, and at worst obsessively deranged. So what a pleasant surprise to have not just one, but two television dramas in Spain featuring women in fulfilling romantic relationships that culminated in legally recognized gay weddings. Although the relationship on Hospital Central between Maca and Esther was disrupted by adultery and unplanned pregnancy, their passion triumphed over drama. On Los Hombres De Pacos, Pepa and Silvia, known as Pepsi, endured trials and tribulations on the way to the altar. But much to the chagrin of lesbians worldwide, Silvia was tragically shot and killed right after her wedding. Below is a video documenting global pleas for the return of Pepsi. Although I don't see how the writers can bring Pepsi back except through a bizarre plot twist given that the actress who plays Silvia left the show, it is touching to see how much this TV couple meant to so many lesbians worldwide.

Click here for a reminder of how Pepa and Silvia were in happier days, and keep in mind, this was aired on network television.

Crazy Cat Lady at the Crazy Quilt Festival

2009-07-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

On Saturday I had the pleasure of spinning at the Crazy Quilt Music Festival in Greenbelt, MD, which is one of three U.S. cities built from scratch as part of the New Deal. I spun between musical acts for several hours, and then did a one and a half hour set accompanied by the Playa Del Fuego fire dancers. You can see video over at the ALP site.

Unfortunately the day of the gig I had to make a vet appointment for George because his third eyelid was protruding--a sign of illness in cats. Fortunately through the wonders of technology I was able to keep an eye on George during my gig. As you can see in the photo, I have a netbook next to my DJ laptop that was used to monitor petcam footage from my apartment. Despite being 13 miles away I was able to see that George was eating and drinking. His vet visit later in the week indicated that his CRF has advanced slightly, so I will need to start administering IV fluids once a week or so. He is doing much better now!

A Day That Will Live in Infamy

2009-07-03T13:06:00.000-07:00

On June 22, 2009, nine people perished at a spot thousands of metro commuters pass through every day en route to work in DC. An inconvenient consequence is that red line commuting will be f*cked up for months to come. Despite being terminally early to gigs, I am typically late to work, and my tardiness has increased exponentially despite efforts to leave my apartment earlier and earlier in the week following the accident.

Initially I tried shuttle buses that were transporting commuters past Takoma Station. On the second day of red line dysfunction I got fed up of standing on a speeding vehicle, and sought the refuge of an empty 14th street bus at Takoma station. This was not a brilliant move from a time management perspective! I have also tried taking the red line to Fort Totten and then switching to the green line and back to red. This results in a one hour forty minute commute. I don't mind this prolonged travel time if I wind up in an exotic location, but this seems like a lot of trouble to go through just to sit in a windowless beige cubicle all day.

Fortunately one of my coworkers told me about the S9 Express. I can catch it at its first stop, 1.4 miles from my apartment. It definitely transports a very different demographic than I am accustomed to on Montgomery County buses! The typical rider wears a suit and works on their laptop or conspicuously reads the New York Times. Not that there is anything wrong with that!! I was FINALLY able to arrive to work on time on Friday, plus had a nice above-ground view of DC as the bus traveled through DC's Gold Coast and Mount Pleasant en route to my destination outside the National Geographic building. I think this will work for me until the red line is back on track.

Queering Sound

2009-06-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I had the privilege of performing at this year's Queering Sound, both as Arthur Loves Plastic and as The Window Shoppers. Below is video from TWS's performance, featuring the disembodied vocals of Mary Fox. Although the event is all about queer visibility, she decided to be a contrarian and perform from the closet by the drum set. Afterwards I projected a stream-of- consciousness video mashup of mid-century PSAs and lesbian porn on the wall during a couple of DJ sets though predictably I had trouble operating the DVD remote. Some amazing spoken word rounded out the evening. And the best part is, all of this took place less than a mile from my apartment in Silver Spring.

My Reading List

2009-05-24T11:53:00.000-07:00

Given my love of the space program and true crime, it was only a matter of time before I bought a copy of Out There, the detailed account of the bizarre astronaut love triangle case. Lisa Nowak was a very determined, accomplished woman for whom failure was not an option. Neither was romantic rejection when the fellow astronaut with whom she was having an affair left her for another woman. The failed romance culminated in a showdown at the parking lot of the Orlando International Airport, for which Nowak infamously prepared by bringing along diapers so she wouldn't need to make a pit stop while driving from Texas. What made the book a fascinating read for me, beyond the story of breeders behaving badly, was the author's exhaustively researched description of NASA training and the shuttle missions. I never knew how much work was involved in hauling the trash out of the International Space Station. A highly recommended read!

Out There was a tough act to follow, but Twisted Triangle delivered! It is the true story of an FBI instructor's disastrous marriage to a sociopathic, corrupt undercover agent. The story gained attention a decade ago because during the divorce proceedings it came to light that the wife had had an affair with crime writer Patricia Cornwell. But the lesbian angle, though steamy, is overshadowed by the fascinatingly evil machinations of the scorned husband. I am glad I bought this one for my kindle app, so i could continue to read the spellbinding story with one hand if forced to stand on the metro.

My current read is The Turnaround by the George Pelecanos. I love seeing films and reading books that take place in DC, so even though I don't like crime shows and am sick of people proselytizing to me about The Wire, I had to give his books a try. The Turnaround not only takes place in the South Dupont area where i work, but the characters live in Wheaton, the Montgomery County suburb that was a haven during my first decade in the DC area, and home to the largest music retailer on the East Coast. Pelecanos provides intricate geographic details, such as the timing of the 70 and the 79 buses, while presenting an emotionally moving tale of guys from different sides of the tracks being brought together by a tragic night from their past. I will be reading much more of him in the future.

The New Cat

2009-05-17T18:05:00.001-07:00

Long time no talk! I have been preoccupied lately getting read for Queering Sound 09, for which I have been "practicing" for an improvisational set with The Window Shoppers and putting together a montage of NASA footage and girl on girl action for a video to use as my backdrop during some ALP DJ sets. And, I finally got a friend for George.

To get another cat was a huge decision I did not take lightly given that I am commitment-phobic, and cats can live to be as old as 20 these days. But although George seemed to like being the only cat when I was around, it did not make up for his loneliness when I was at work.

I first met Kimba when I was going to visit a kitten at the Greenbelt Shelter that my gf thought I would like, but decided since I prefer cats to kittens anyway, I should get someone past their adoption prime (the kitten has since found a home of her own). Kimba was actually born at the shelter, and is almost 2 years old now. The only time she had lived in a home was a 3 week stint spent behind a dresser hiding from an obnoxious child. The family who had adopted her brought her back to the shelter, and according to the shelter staff, she became less skittish after this experience. Kimba reminds me of Leo, the first cat I grew up with, and the fact she purred when I petted her in the cage she calmly occupied underneath a temperamental tomcat sealed the deal.

Kimba initially went under my futon when we arrived home, but emerged later in the evening for some attention. Despite my attempts to separate the cats for a few days George ended up entering the bedroom and was not as surprised as I thought he would be to find himself face to face with another cat. He hissed a few times but there has been surprisingly little drama. Even though he just tolerates Kimba, having another cat in the apartment has helped ease his separation anxiety. He no longer follows me around the apartment howling when I get home. He appears to enjoy wielding his authority. She likes to be near him and doesn't take it personally when he swats her.

You can see photos and petcam surveilance photos of Kimba and George here.

God Hates F*ggot Poets!

2009-04-25T15:13:00.000-07:00

The Rev. Phelps and his entourage of rabid followers took a break from their hectic schedule of disrupting military funerals to protest at Walt Whitman High School in Bethesda. The issue? The school's namesake is rumored to have been gay or bisexual. The school's teachers turned this into a teachable moment by helping the students mobilize a peaceful counter-protest. Watch the Washington Post video for signs of social progress--I can't imagine the privileged dunderheads at my Florida high school speaking so eloquently in support of gay friends.

Late to the Party, I Know!!

2009-04-18T13:21:00.001-07:00

I recently decided I wanted a portable way to check e-mail and surf the web, just in case I need to look up trivia in wikipedia while away from home. Laptops are just too cumbersome for this purpose. I was initially hesitant to consider the iPhone because I have several friends that are tethered to the internet via this means and speak with religious fervor about application such as virtual fish tanks that seemed a little superfluous to me. I failed to see how this device could be useful!

However, once Amazon announced a free kindle app, I was sold--and Apple helped enable this impulse by selling refurbished 2nd Generation iPod Touch units for under $200. The Touch is kind of like a gateway to the iPhone--it connects to the internet via wifi but there is no phone attached. After owning one for just a few weeks I don't understand why everyone in the world doesn't own one. The interface is so intuitive that the device literally becomes an extension of the brain. And it has already enriched my life to a degree I had never dreamed possible! While on a recent work trip to Seattle, for instance, I was able to read the Daily Mail while dining alone in an Indian restaurant, watch YouTube videos while eating hummus at a lesbian bar, and online shop from my hotel room while watching reality TV. What more can you ask for from a gadget?

WOOT!

2009-03-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

I love Woot! It is a site that offers one item up for sale each day. They routinely feature novelty surplus such as Homer Simpson USB LED Desk Lamps and six packs of Star Wars Bobble Heads but every once in a while will throw in ridiculously cheap netbooks and Flip video cameras to keep us coming back. No matter what is for sale, the absolute best feature of the site is its outrageous item descriptions. For instance, when iPod Touches were being sold, (and sold OUT by 10am), they were described as new and improved iPhones that that don't take calls:

But best of all (and unlike the iPhone), it is absolutely impossible for anyone to make a telephone call to this device. That means there’s no possibility of someone ringing me up in the middle of a YouTube exhibition and stopping the show right when the kitten is about to vomit, scuttling the perfect comic timing of the thing.

Another classic is the description for Disney Pix Max digital cameras that even provides cut and paste text for the purchasers they assume will turn around and auction their purchase on eBay.

Check out woot here! I look forward to it each morning almost as much as the Daily Mail!

A Demonstration of What Exactly?

2009-03-28T14:51:00.001-07:00

DSCN3061
Originally uploaded by ArthurLovesPlastic

I love working in downtown DC! You never know what sorts of network news anchor or politician sightings might occur at any moment. For instance, over the past several years I have stood in line in front of David Brinkley at Ritz Camera, eaten lunch within view of Cokie Roberts, and witnessed John Kerry shaking hands with consultants. And then there are the random mystery demonstrations. As I was leaving work on Friday I smelled horse poop and saw lots of flashing blue lights and just had to investigate. It turns out the cavalry was called out to monitor a band of scruffy protesters who danced across Dupont Circle while blasting Dexy's Midnight Runners. I have no idea what they were demonstrating against.

Puppet with Attitude

2009-03-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

It makes me feel old to know that Sesame Street turns 40 this year!! I would never have thought Ricky Gervais would host a children's show but his outtakes with Elmo are priceless!

End of an Era

2009-03-10T17:43:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen this much vitriol on the internet since I last visited Ann Coulter's website! I am talking about fan reactions to last night's L Word finale. It reminds me of Louis CK's assertion that "Everything's amazing, nobody's happy," as he lambasts a spoiled generation for taking today's technological innovations for granted and complaining about petty inconveniences.

I can understand why L Word viewers are not happy about the vague ending to the 'Who Killed Jenny Shecter" saga. But the fact that for the past six years there has been a successful show on television about fashionably hip lesbians is historic. A quarter century ago (YIKES!) when I was attending high school there were no lesbian portrayals on television. It wasn't until 1991 that the first onscreen kiss between two women was televised. I am one of the first people to complain about the dearth of lesbian storylines on network TV in the U.S. compared to Europe, but even I can appreciate how much advancement there has been in subsequent years. For instance, we have an openly gay daytime talk show host at the top of the ratings, at least two out lesbian anchors on cable news, and scores of lesbians on reality TV shows.

One of the things I appreciated about the L Word was the extent to which it crossed over into the mainstream, so that a conversation with a heterosexual woman might easily turn into a discussion of Shane's antics. A straight couple delighted in hearing me take a barhopping logistics call from one of my lesbian friends one Saturday evening, exclaiming "This is so L Word!" Far from being a stigma it was now hip to be lesbian--"L Word" became the new adjective for stylish clothes and trendy hair. Goodbye mullet! Farewell granola! This was a blessing to those of us who thought we might be alone forever because we don't play to type.

My favorite actress on the L Word was Jennifer Beals. Even though after seeing Flashdance and 1985's Bride I thought she couldn't act her way out of a paper bag, she sizzled as the glamorous, artsy, albeit uptight Bette. I was touched during the finale pre-show when Beals' eyes welled up as she recounted receiving a note, delivered via her husband, from a fan describing how meaningful the series was to her coming out. Beals' presence lent gravitas to the lineup based on her role in popularizing torn work-out clothing in the 80's. It is astounding to think just 20 years later she was an ambassador for the millennial iteration of lesbian chic.

A film that was released the same year as Flashdance provided my first sighting of a lesbian character--and I saw it with my parents. Silkwood was based on the true story of a whistleblower at a nuclear plant who dies under mysterious circumstances. Karen Silkwood was played by Meryl Streep and her roomate Dolly, an attractive blue-collar lesbian, was played by Cher. Despite being in middle America, Karen was totally cool about Dolly's orientation, and even gives her a shoulder to cry on without being uncomfortable. The fact that I remember this film so many years later attests to the influence and significance of lesbian onscreen visibility to young minds. Hopefully the advances of the last 25 years have made the coming out process less isolating for today's youth. I just hope they don't take it for granted!

Gift Gaffes

2009-03-08T11:48:00.001-07:00

Gift-giving is an art that relies heavily on intuition and insight. I have a few friends who are geniuses at it and present me with thoughtful gifts at birthdays and Christmases that I didn't know I wanted. Finding the perfect gift for a visiting head of state undoubtedly presents an unusual challenge particularly when international relations are riding on the selection. But I am dumbfounded as to why the Obama administration presented Gordon Brown with a set of DVDs. First of all, the U.S. and Europe have different DVD region codes and secondly, Blockbusters in the U.K. are almost as ubiquitous as McDonalds! Brits can easily buy American movies on their own turf!

But the gift gaffe that really left me puzzled this week was Hillary Clinton's present to Russia's foreign minister. Instead of a red "reset" button he ended up with one that said "overcharged." I am surprised that the agency in charge of issuing passports doesn't have anyone on staff to provide translation for ONE WORD.

Work-Safe Porn

2009-02-28T16:55:00.000-08:00

As far as my wardrobe, I tend to wear black on the outside because black is how I feel on the inside. But as far as my home decorating aesthetic, i am all about colour! Although I had to settle for residing in an apartment with beige carpet, you will not find a white wall in it. My color scheme consists of Benjamin Moore's "neon celery" in the living room/dining area with "Florida Keys blue" accents, "citrus blast" in the kitchen, "Jamaican aqua" in the hallway, and "early sunrise pink" in the bedroom. And I have managed to trendily furnish my digs on a shoestring. The only piece of furniture I have spent more than $100 on is the Ikea sofa that I salvaged with a stylish stretch cover after my cats tore it to shreds. The rest of my furniture was either rescued from the trash by my ex-husband and stylized with contact paper, or I got it on sale at Target, Walmart, and dollar stores (in fact the chair above cost $17 at Walmart online).

Although I have only recently had the guts to lapse into pretense and refer to the 1950's as"mid-century," this is my favourite furnishings era thanks to the husband and wife design team of Charles and Ray Eames. My new work-safe porn outlet is to look up "Eames Era" in ebay and scroll through the hip retro assortment of lighting fixtures, ashtrays, clocks, and chairs that come up in the search results. Check it out!!

Going GaGa

2009-02-22T19:42:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling like a musical curmudgeon these days because there has been very little new music aside from Goldfrapp that has caught my ear in the last few years. However Lady Gaga's hook laden album The Fame has been on repeat in my mp3 player for the past few weeks. She has much more substance than the run-of-the-mill pop artist--in fact she was performing open mics at age 14, gained admission to a prestigious art school at 17, and has been hired by Britney Spears and Pussycat Dolls as a songwriter. She has also cultivated a glittery gay male fashion sensibility. Here she is singing about disco sticks. I couldn't help but notice the cool neon watch she has on.

The Widget

2009-02-14T12:16:00.001-08:00

I was testing this out and it got posted here instead of the ALP site. But enjoy anyways! Happy F*cking Valentines Day!!!

Yet Another Guilty Pleasure

2009-02-02T17:14:00.000-08:00

When straight woman joke to me that they want to switch teams because they are tired of men, it is my civic duty to explain that the grass is really not that much greener on my side of the fence. Although I am glad I don't date men--aside from Clive Owen I don't find many of them attractive--the orientation has perils that extend way beyond lack of legally recognized relationship status. For starters, the dating pool is so small that even in a metropolitan area you may end up dating women your friends have already dated, or sharing a lot of mutual friends with your date, thus making breakups very messy! And finding women who aren't child obsessed can be a challenge. Plus, women are emotionally complicated!!

Being gay can also mean exile to a pop-culture ghetto. "Lesbian culture" is an oxymoron characterized by mediocre movies, badly written books, and depressing acoustic music. However I recently ran across an author who has provided a surprising new guilty pleasure on the lambda literary front. Georgia Beers has written a whole slew of lesbian romance novels that provide a much needed escape from the doldrums of the typical DC metro commute.

Beers' characters are very post-gay in that they are out of the closet and beyond the coming out drama. In contrast to the L Word, in which Kit is the only straight who isn't a dolt, Georgia Beers' women have supportive families and straight friends. They are also multi-dimensional, smart, gorgeous, and independent to the extent that the onset of an unexpected romance is viewed as a source of disruption in otherwise fulfilling lives. Also unlike the characters in the L Word whose glamorous jobs enable them to hang out all day at a chi chi coffee shop, Beer's women have real jobs and responsibilities and baggage--the latter of the hard knock life variety and not self-imposed lesbian drama.

For instance, in Mine, Courtney is mutually attracted to Rachel, the sexy control freak of a real estate agent she has hired to sell the house she shared with her late partner. But first, Courtney must get over the sense that she is being unfaithful to her late partner's memory, and Rachel has to accept being vulnerable. In Too Close to Touch, Kylie is the stunning assistant who falls for her no-nonsense older boss Gretchen, who is too cold and controlled to show that the feeling is mutual until she must lean on Kylie to get through a family tragedy.

Beers has a unique gift of building romantic tension replete with detailed wardrobe descriptions, then crescendoing to steamy, passionate love scenes that leave trails of discarded clothing strewn down the hallways of tastefully decorated houses. I can't wait to read more, and fortunately Beers is prolific enough to provide material for many more metro commutes!

And I missed the Premiere of the L Word for THIS?!?

2009-01-19T14:52:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a very challenging DJ gig. Despite the fact that the event organizers and performers were gracious, talented, and pleasant to work with, a combination of logistics, equipment failure, and genre mismatch made it one of the most humbling gigs I have experienced since playing bass in a goth band to empty venues during my youth.

A hip hop collective I have had fun spontaneously gigging and recording with invited me to DJ at a biker bar in Adams Morgan. Adams Morgan is one of those neighborhoods that gets characterized in out-of-town publications as "edgy" and "hip," but in reality its narrow sidewalks are teeming with drunk frat boys and eurotrash. But who was I to turn down a DC gig on inauguration weekend?

I had agreed to do my usual shtick at this event whereby I sit off to the side and play tracks between live acts to keep the groove going. This has worked really well in the past because I have an eclectic assortment of original material that can serve as a segue between a variety of genres. Since the band coming on was reggae, I cued up some downtempo ALP numbers,only to have one of the organizers inform me that the owner wanted me to play something more "contemporary." I am not sure what this meant, but since I had to listen to ear-splitting cock rock while setting up, I played the closest thing I had on my laptop, Ladytron's "Destroy Everything You Touch." The tastemeister reported back that this was much better, as he wanted something more celebratory for the inauguration--a strange comment considering that I would place that track more squarely in the "veiled reference to Bush" category.

Anyhow, one thing I should have known ahead of time is that some of the rappers would be relying on me to play their backing tracks on CD. If this thought had occurred to me when I was packing my gear I would have brought my professional Numark CD player that is better designed for this purpose. Unfortunately I had to find out the hard way that Windows Media Player does not like to play CDs when my Torque DJ software is open. Although the first rap set went fine, my computer froze when advancing to the second performer's next track, forcing her to skillfully improvise to a human beatbox while I frantically rebooted.

As if things couldn't get much worse, one of the MCs, not realizing that I am painfully shy, asked me over the mic who Arthur is, prompting me to explain how I named my band after my deceased cat's love of plastic grocery bags. (Crazy cat lady in da house!).

I would have to confess that I evaluate rap about as well as I judge wine or acting--I only have an informed opinion if it is bad! But I was really impressed with the caliber of performers and their backing tracks. If I had been better prepared and not in a snit about being told what music to play I would have had a better time, and I thought it was cute how they called me "DJ Bev." At the end of the show, I learned from the soundman that the owner had not even been in the building the entire evening!! The tastemeister was an impostor whose sense of entitlement must have translated into a demeanor of authority.

The trip home was the piece de resistance! Trying to hail a cab out of Adams Morgan was as seemingly impossible as scoring a ticket to the inauguration! Most of the cabs were full, and the empty ones refused to go to Silver Spring. I ended up walking out to 16th Street where I passed on taking an S4 bus to Silver Spring that was more packed than I could have imagined humanly possible. A woman wandering around the bus stop in the bitter cold on crutches who hacked her lungs out while panhandling reminded me that things could be worse. Finally a nice Ethiopian cab driver from a Montgomery County company rescued me.

All in all I am glad I did the show though--it is good at my age to try new things, and having a disastrous gig demonstrates the risk taken when performing live, thereby enhancing the enjoyment of a successful performance. And I was able to watch the first episode of the L Word on YouTube anyways!

I Heart the Daily Mail

2009-01-17T09:25:00.001-08:00

One of the most critical feeds on my igoogle page is the Daily Mail TV&Showbiz section. It helps me keep tabs on Britney's career comeback, Lindsay Lohan's lesbian relationship, and Jodi Foster's domestic drama much better than any stateside tabloid. The delusional Heather Mills, Paul McCartney's ex-wife, is the gift that keeps on giving, what with sexual harassment suits by former nannies and drastic hairstyle changes. The Daily Mail has also been providing consistently disturbing coverage of Amy Winehouse's "rehab" at an exclusive St. Lucian resort. Today's installment features her drunkenly hitting on a woman (something I would never do!!). According to the woman's boyfriend:

'She kept trying to take pictures of my girlfriend in an indecent position on the trapeze. She kept calling her 'Babe' and saying: "You’re stunning, I love you."'

There is also a whole other parallel universe of UK celebrities to explore--primarily WAGs (wives and girlfriends of soccer players), reality TV show contestants, and party girls who engage in restroom brawls and drunken nights out. Check out the RSS feed to get the latest!

Mama Mia!!

2009-01-11T07:07:00.000-08:00

Thanks to an article at Velvet Park, I learned that the Italian version of Spain's Hospital Central has been translated on YouTube. Although the Italian version mirrors the Spanish series with the pairing of beautiful, no-nonsense pediatrician Marina with sexy head nurse Esther, the series does reflect the less "tolerant" attitude towards homosexuality in Italy compared to Spain. Also there is more yelling! Although the now-legendary elevator kiss that starts at 5 minutes into the clip needs no translation, seeing the romance trajectory translated made the scene more meaningful. Grazie user unikyou on YouTube!!

Steve & Barry's R.I.P.

2009-01-09T16:59:00.001-08:00

Between Marshall's, Burlington Coat Factory, and "Fashion One" I buy 90% of my clothes at the mall near "Silver Sprung" that yuppies pejoratively refer to as "Sh*tty Place." I am typically the only blue-eyed person in the building. To my dismay last week I learned that the Steve & Barry's downstairs is closing. I stopped by this evening to check out their liquidation sale. All that remained on the shelves of the store where I had gleefully purchased Sarah Jessica Parker "Bitten" slacks and Venus Williams "Eleven" active-wear for $8.98 per item were some childrens clothes, jeans for the morbidly obese, and winter hats mischievously emblazoned with the term "Angel". I will miss browsing their massive selection of frat-boyish alcohol and sex-themed t-shirts of the "I am not as think as you drunk I am" variety--the largest collection of its kind this side of Ocean City. Steve & Barry's, you will be missed!!

Pepsi: My New Obsession

2009-01-01T18:11:00.000-08:00

No, I have not started drinking soda! Pepsi is the moniker for the hot lesbian couple in the Spanish evening soap opera "Los Hombres de Paco" (Paco's Men). Pepa is a gorgeous, slightly tomboyish lesbian police officer who was ostracized from her family after kissing her brother's wife's sister Silvia at a wedding. Several years later she joins her brother's police squad in Madrid where the adorable redhead Silvia is the forensics investigator. They end up falling in love. The scene in which Silvia consummates their relationship in Pepa's bathroom at 2am is exquisitely romantic.

Silvia initially is conflicted about being in her first relationship with a woman, but grows more comfortable with the concept as family and coworkers show they are supportive of the couple. A benevolent YouTuber has posted the scenes chronicling their relationship with subtitles here--though the best scenes need no translation. The next season resumes in January. There were upsetting rumors that Pepa sleeps with a guy next season, but apparently this is only for purposes of procreation. Phew!

Pet Psychic

2008-12-27T18:16:00.000-08:00

My cat George has been increasingly vocal since Anastacia's death so I called an animal communicator to decipher his distressed howls. My vet recommended the services of Diane Roadcap, who actually makes house calls. There is no doubt in my mind that during our 45 minute session she was talking to George, because he rattled off his food preferences (he doesn't like wet food except for white tuna and chicken, and does not like rice) and talked about how I administered IV fluids to Anastacia when she was sick. He also let the Diane know that the green sphere chair I recently purchased online from Target is HIS.

Apparently he has been howling a lot because he wants to tell me about all the activity in the apartment hallway and he would like me to open the window so he can hear the birds (fat chance when it is freezing outside). He was also adamant that he does not want another cat, and I was relieved to find out that even though he feels lonely from time to time, he has enjoyed the extra attention he receives from being the only cat and is getting used to being by himself. Diane also put me in touch with my mother (she knew my mother had passed away 5 years ago from breast cancer without me providing any information). The comments in response to this Washington Post story consist of mind-blowing testimonials from happy clients scattered among dismissive remarks from closed-minded people. I highly recommend Diane to anyone who wants to better understand their pet.

I Can't Think Straight Part 2

2008-12-27T18:09:00.000-08:00

Last month I had the pleasure of seeing the film "I Can't Think Straight" and bought the book when it came out (so to speak) on Amazon this month. The story is an autobiographical account of the romance between an upper-class Christian Palestinian (Tala) and a Muslim Indian woman (Leyla) that challenges cultural norms and family tradition. The print version is much funnier than the film--it provides humorous depictions of both women's passive-aggressive, interfering mothers as well as more in-depth portrayals of the inner conflicts that arise within Leyla and Tala as they confront their latent homosexual tendencies. All-in-all a highly recommended breezy, stimulating read! Hopefully the DVD will be out soon.

Parting Shot

2008-12-15T03:56:00.000-08:00

The T.V.'s at the gym provided the perfect incentive for me to be up at 5:00 this morning. This clip was played repeatedly until I could laugh no more, though I do feel badly that Dana Perino got a black eye in the ensuing melee.

I Can't Think Straight!

2008-11-23T14:19:00.000-08:00

My gf and I went to NYC for the day yesterday to see the film "I Can't Think Straight," an intelligent romantic comedy starring the gorgeous pairing of Lisa Ray and Sheetal Sheth. The film more than made up for every awful lesbian film I have sat through. The dialog was witty, the characters were muti-dimensional, and the the action was steamy yet left plenty for the imagination. Hopefully it will get wider release so more people can see it. For now, here is a teaser:

As if I hadn't had enough thrills in one day, we went for lunch to Red Bamboo, a tiny restaurant in Greenwich Village that specializes in fake meat of all varieties. I opted for the vegan fish and chips. You can also get Phillie cheese steak and chicken Parmesan and a wide variety of other foods that you forget you enjoy until you see them on a cruelty-free menu.

Paradise was lost on the train ride home though--we ended up siting between a loud snorer and a chatty Cathy who noisily ate a bottomless bag of Funyuns.

Slaughtergate

2008-11-23T14:06:00.000-08:00

We currently have the best of both worlds right now! Even though Obama won the election Sarah Palin is still inspiring the creation of viral videos. I am sure by now everyone has seen the footage of her media interview conducted in full view of Turkeys being slaughtered, but the MSNBC version is a classic owing to its priceless captions that include:

"Turkey-Killing Fowls Palin News Conference"

"Gov. Palin Apparently Oblivious to Turkey Carnage Over Her Shoulder"

"Gov. Palin Not Realizing Incongruity Of Her Words Versus Her Backdrop"

Here is the video. Even though the gruesome bits have been filtered out, it still makes me glad to be eating Tofurkey on Thursday.

The Edge of Heaven

2008-11-20T16:51:00.000-08:00

The Edge of Heaven is a tragic geopolitical tale constructed of coincidences and missed connections that starts when Ali, an elderly Turkish widower, accidentally kills his prostitute-girlfriend. His mild-mannered son Nejat then travels to Istanbul in search of the woman's daughter Nejat. Little does he know that Nejat, a Kurdish political activist, has fled to Germany in search of her mother, where she is rescued by Lotte, a guileless German woman who becomes her lover, much to the disdain of her strict German mother. The only language Nejat and Lotte share is English, so we even get a reprieve from subtitles (who knew English would become the new Esperanto!?!) The characters' lives intersect unexpectedly and intensely. And if you are knowledgeable about European politics there is another whole subtext to the movie. This is one of the best films I have seen all year. The UK trailer is below.

Shelter Me

2008-11-20T15:09:00.000-08:00

Shelter Me explores class conflict, religious tensions, and the struggle of coming out to parents against the backdrop of a gorgeous northern Italian town. Anna is one of the wealthy owners of her family's shoe factory. Her girlfriend, Mara, is a much younger factory worker. After a vacation in Morocco, Anna and Mara discover that a young man has stowed away in the back of their car. Anna lets him stay at her house and gives him a job. The boy, Anis, becomes a pawn in a subtle power struggle between the two women. The characters are empathetic and the interpersonal dynamics are engaging. Definitely a good netflix pick despite the sometimes plodding pace.

Be an Arts Patron

2008-11-14T18:02:00.000-08:00

I don't usually read the Silver Spring Gazette but a poignant article caught my eye this week. It was about Patrick O'Brien, an uninsured free-lance filmmaker from New York who was diagnosed with ALS, (a.k.a Lou Gehrig's disease) in 2005 at age 30, and has been filming his experience to raise awareness of the disease and leave a legacy to his son. He continues to work on his film at his sisters' Wheaton home, titled "Everything Will Be Okay," despite the degeneration of his physical abilities. Financial troubles as well as his own mortality threaten to thwart completion of this film. You can read more here, and visit Patrick's website here to view the trailer and make a donation.

Lesbian Sweeps

2008-11-08T12:10:00.000-08:00

I have never watched Grey's Anatomy and certainly don't plan on starting. The show that was oh so PC it fired Isaiah Washington for using the two syllable F-bomb couldn't quite bring itself to feature a lesbian couple beyond sweeps week and fired actress Brooke Smith. Lisa De Moraes of the Washington Post, who watches crappy TV so I don't have to, discusses the lesbian sweeps phenomenon here.

Another Life Saved by Girl on Girl Action

2008-11-02T04:30:00.000-08:00

The promo for episode five of House had a much longer action scene than what actually aired. Although I don't object to any ratings ploy that involves Olivia Wilde, I do find it slightly offensive that her character's same-sex activity is portrayed as a symptom of her downward spiral. But enough of being a cranky lesbian. Here is a clip with the extended scene:

Sapphic Elevator Kisses Take Two

2008-10-27T04:15:00.000-07:00

The Italians show us how it is done in their remake of the Spanish series Central Hospital. Too bad the show was subsequently canceled. Spanish and U.S. renditions are here.

UPDATE: According to Afterellen.com, the series will be back on the air in the spring in a "more appropriate time slot."

Anastacia: 1992-2008

2008-10-20T07:33:00.001-07:00

Sixteen years ago my cat George got out of the tiny house in Wheaton where I lived with my lead singer/boyfriend and went missing. A month later, I fell in love with a little calico kitten who had been born next door at the household of a DEA agent whose motto was apparently "Just Say No.....to spaying!" I brought her home to provide companionship to George's grieving littermate Arthur. We named the kitten Anastacia due to her regal disposition and our habit of naming pets after European royalty. After a few days of hissing, Arthur began grooming and playing with Anastacia when he thought no one was looking. Then miraculously, George turned up at the Montgomery County animal shelter. There were some initial tensions in the household until George regained his alpha-male status, but everyone got along beautifully.

Anastacia was overshadowed by the two boys, but her personality blossomed after Arthur's passing a few years ago. She let George boss her around but never took him too seriously. She tended to keep to herself but delighted in prancing about in front of guests with a "look but don't touch" demeanor which made it all the more meaningful when she leaped up on my desk to be petted.

In August an ultrasound indicated she had cancer. The last few months have been characterized by weekly vet appointments and daily IV fluid injections which she accepted gracefully. In fact she was in good spirits until yesterday, my 42nd birthday. I knew it was time to say goodbye when she was unable to come to the door to greet me. I put out a sleeping bag in the living room for what I thought would be our last night together, but she suffered a seizure two hours later and passed on enroute to the emergency vet in Rockville. She is greatly missed.

Less Than Three Weeks!

2008-10-15T03:57:00.000-07:00

We hopefully have less than three weeks of Sarah Palin viral forwards to enjoy. So far this is my favourite--a parody trailer for the feature film "Head of Skate." Enjoy!

Killing Time

2008-10-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

I am having to stop home in the evenings to look after my terminally ill cat, which means I can no longer travel directly from downtown DC to Greenbelt to hang out with my gf. So I now travel from DC to Silver Spring to Greenbelt at least twice a week via mass transit because I don't want to drive my Ford Festiva on the Beltway. So here is my commute in a nutshell:

1) leave office at 5 pm, travel on metro from Dupont Circle, arrive at Silver Spring around 5:40

2) Walk ALL AROUND Silver Spring metro because of a "transit center to nowhere" project that will take eons to complete. Arrive at my apartment around 6:00 pm

3) Clean my cat's dishes, put out more food, clean up whatever poop and/or puke there might be

4) Catch 6:20 bus to Langley Takoma Crossroads, the neighboring barrio where yuppies who have a disdain for immigration law pick up cheap undocumented labor to do their home improvements

5) Around 6:40 pm cross University Blvd, then New Hampshire Ave. to catch the C2 bus to Greenbelt Plaza, arriving anytime between 7:35 and 7:45 pm.

Once I have a seat on the C2 I have 45 minutes of free time to read a book or engage in my latest vice: watching LGBT TV shows on my new Creative Zen Player. Nothing makes you more deviantly hip than being the token anglo chick on the bus watching same-sex romance on a portable media device. Fortunately Amazon Unbox sell shows from LOGO and Here! TV so I have enough material for quite a few commutes. Here is what I have been watching:

Gimme Sugar

This is an MTV/LOGO produced reality show in which a group of young LA lesbians decides to organize a women's club night. The women are attractive but fit the formula of Real World contestants: they are self-absorbed, superficial, and whiny drama queens. There are only two sympathetic women in the cast.

*SPOILER ALERT*

The women's night flops and is taken over by straight men the women lure to the bar just to meet the drink guarantee. Somehow it is comforting to see that even young, hip lesbians have trouble getting people to come to their events! Not that I know anyone personally that has that problem.

Exes & Ohs

This is a more mature lesbian series that succeeds as a cringe-inducing comedy. The lead character, Jennifer, is still friends with her ex, Sam, an attractive lothario, though their friendship is often challenged by unprocessed past relationship issues. The series opens with Jennifer witnessing her partner Sienna cheating on her with the couple's relationship therapist. Ensuing episodes show Jen's awkward entrance into the dating world, and Sienna's unrepentant invasion back into Jen's life. The other ancillary characters, such as Crutch, the talentless lesbian folk singer, play more to type. I would give this series a C+ which automatically gets upped to a B because of the dearth of lesbian programming. And who is going to be selective about entertainment while traveling on a bus to Greenbelt?

Dante's Cove

This series features witches, gorgeous scantilly clad gay men and lesbians, and weather that turns violent on cue. It is bloody awful yet I can't stop watching it. The series centers around the unshaven and chiseled Toby, who works in the mornings serving cocktails at the beach bar of a haunted hotel. His beefcake boyfriend Kevin moves in with him to flee a homophobic stepfather. Meanwhile, a 19th century witch's spouse, Ambrosius, escapes eternal damnation after Kevin wanders into his basement prison on a beer run and ends up in his clutches. Ambrosius plots to win Kevin and get rid of his scorned wife, whom he had cheated on with his butler. The whole witch coven angle is uncovered by Toby's hot lesbian friend and housemate Van during a trip to the local historical center. This show make the Love Boat seem like Shakespeare, but at the risk of seeming superficial, you really can't beat the visuals.

Today's Impulse Purchase

2008-10-04T21:57:00.001-07:00

I managed to avoid the "no candy no tabloids no fun" line today at the supermarket and ended up with OK! in my cart. It was their pink issue, and pink it is. Not only does it feature Lindsay and Sam on the cover, but Ellen is on there as well. Oddly enough, Lohan's relationship is couched in glowing, non-salacious terms, but the breeder pairing of Scarlet and Ryan is characterized as "secret."

Flat Earth Society 2.0

2008-09-20T17:00:00.000-07:00

I just finished Thomas L. Friedman's The World is Flat, which is a breezy read despite its 600 pages. Friedman's presents a series of vignettes gathered during his travels to such far flung places as Silicone Valley, Bangalore, and China, to illustrate the 10 technological, economic, and political factors that have converged within the last two decades to create an unprecedented period of global collaboration.

Friedman argues that this new era of globalization has not resulted in corporate homogenization nor U.S. domination as WTO protesters would have you believe. Because of "flatteners" a new middle class has emerged from poverty in China and India that no longer has to emigrate to the United States to achieve the American dream. However the U.S. stands to be shut out of the opportunities it has helped launch by cutting its investment in education at the same time China and India have generated millions of engineers and scientists.

Instead of restricting free trade to protect American jobs, Friedman argues, we should be engaging in an effort on the same scale as the space race to better educate future generations so that they can compete on the new level playing field. Globalization is here to stay, so it is up to us to shepherd the process so that workers rights do not succumb to the pressure for lower wages, and the carbon footprints created by new cars in China do not destroy the planet.

No Better Reason to Vote for Obama

2008-09-03T16:37:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin is only pro-life when it comes to humans. As the graphic video shows below, she supports the aerial hunting of wolves and bears.

Leni: The Life and Works of Leni Riefenstahl

2008-08-24T12:30:00.000-07:00

This past spring you may recall that a dumb-ass attending a pro-Tibet rally held a sign asking "Would We Have Allowed Nazi Germany to Host the Olympics"? Apparently this person did not see "Olympia," Leni Riefenstahl's legendary documentary on the 1936 Olympics in Munich. I recently had a chance to read a thought-provoking biography on Leni Riefenstahl by Steven Bach. Although Refenstahl insisted after the war she was an apolotical artist unaware of Nazi atrocities, Bach demonstrates her complicity through exhaustive research. For instance, her name appears on contracts that call for the use of unpaid Gypsy extras from detention camps for her Reich-funded film Tielfland, and she was photographed at the scene of a Nazi massacre in Poland.

After the war Riefenstahl felt unfairly judged when shunned by the movie industry. However her artistic drive and narcissism enabled her to forge a career that lasted almost until her death at 101 years of age. The extent to which she put her artistic vision above human morality is deplorable, but even Bach, who barely contains contempt for his biography subject, marvels at her defiance of old age. The same insatiable sex drive that compelled her to sleep with practically every man on set carried through to her later years, when she engaged in a long-term relationship with a man 40 years her junior. While in her eighties she lied about her age to obtain a scuba license to film a series of underwater films.

There is no denying that Reifenstahl was one of the great filmakers of all time, and the fact that she achieved this in a male-dominated industry makes her feat all the more remarkable. Nevertheless, Bach's book inspires debate on the extent to which we can separate the artist from their art. Though Back acknowledges Reifenstahl's genius, he is not deluded by her false protestations of innocence and self-serving persecution complex.

I'm Mad As Hell and I'm Not Going to Take it Anymore!

2008-08-23T12:28:00.002-07:00

Last night I had friends over for movie night. No one had any good DVD offerings so we ended up watching the 1976 film "Network" instantly on Netflix. Network easily makes my list of top ten films. I even sampled some of its dialog for my 1998 CD Slice.

Howard Beale is a newsman whose mental breakdown is inadvertently televised. The network initially fires him but then gives him his own TV show once it is evident that his psychotic rantings and ravings generate high ratings. Faye Dunaway plays Diana, an uptight, ruthless programming vice president whose pet project is developing a TV series to broadcast the terrorist activities of a black militant group. She also monitors the success of Beale's sermons, and is thrilled when Americans across the country open their windows and scream "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!!!" at the urging of a frenzied Beale.

Howard Beale eventually gets in trouble with the network when he rails against the multinational corporation that is attempting to assume ownership. The resulting reprimand from the head honcho, Arthur Jensen, is one of the most chilling and portentious monologues in cinema:

There are no nations; there are no peoples. There are no Russians. There are no Arabs. There is no third world. There is no west. There is only one holistic system of systems; one vast interwoven, interacting, multivariate multinational dominion of dollars. Petrodollars, electrodollars, reichmarks, rubles, rin, pounds and shekels. It is the international system of currency that determines the totality of life on this planet. That is the natural order of things today. That is the atomic, subatomic and galactic structure of things today. It is the international system of currency that determines the totality of life on this planet. That is the natural order of things. You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, and you will atone! Am I getting through to you, Mr. Beale? You get up on your little twenty-one inch screen and howl about America and Democracy. There is no America. There is no democracy. There is only IBM and ITT and AT &T and Dupont, Dow, Union Carbide and Exxon. Those are the nations of the world today.

Even though its portrayal of the dire consequences of corporate media ownership has been eclipsed by reality, Network still holds up well 32 years later.

Parlez vous francais?

2008-08-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

Like many gay Americans I have been patiently waiting for season 3B of South of Nowhere. I had pre-ordered season 3's 16 episodes on iTunes last year, but the show went on hiatus after the first 8 episodes aired last fall. In February of this year it was announced that season 3 will be the series' last, despite fan protests. Viacom's The N has been a tease about when it will be airing the final episodes. They showed promos in March promising an April return, but have now postponed 3B until September. Meanwhile, the episodes are airing in France!!! It is kind of hot seeing Spashley dubbed in French though.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

2008-08-15T17:10:00.000-07:00

Thursday an ultrasound indicated that my cat has cancer. Fortunately I had booked Friday off work so I wouldn't have to worry about getting choked up in my windowless beige cube. To get my mind off things I went to a matinée showing of Woody Allen's latest film Vicky Cristina Barcelona. If you were to guess that the deciding factor in today's film selection is that it features Scarlett Johansson and Penélope Cruz making out you would be correct!! However the film has so much more to offer.

Johansson plays Cristina, an impulsive romantic who takes an extended summer trip to Barcelona with her more restrained friend Vicki. Vicki is writing her thesis on Catalan culture and is engaged to a boring man back in New York, which prompts her to thwart the advances of a sexy Spanish painter who tries to pick up the pair for a threesome. Both women eventually end up sleeping with him individually. Vicki's night of passion leaves her wondering if she can live happily-ever-after with Mr. Boring. Cristina ends up moving in with the painter, when his ex-wife, a Latina version of the tasmanian devil played by Penelope Cruz, descends into their lives.

The film is well worth seeing on the big screen for the gorgeous footage of Barcelona and its architecture. And no one else can capture the nuances of unbearable yuppie dinner conversation like Woody Allen. Here is the trailer:

The World Unseen

2008-08-10T15:02:00.001-07:00

I missed the Reel Affirmations film festival in DC last October because of two annoyances: 1) boneheaded bureaucrats in Montgomery Country forced me out of my apartment because of a housing code violation and 2) I had to attend a work conference at a god-forsaken industrial park in Austin, Texas. In fact I spent my birthday at the Austin airport eating a pulled-pork taco. But I digress. This year I am making it a point to attend Reel Affirmations because there is a must-see film on this year's roster: The World Unseen. Shamim Serif wrote the screenplay and directed this film based on her 2001 novel. It stars Bollywood sensation Lisa Ray and the adorable Sheetal Sheth. Ray plays Miriam, an Indian woman living in 1950's South Africa in an arranged marriage who falls for the free-spirited Amina. The trailer is below.

And if that isn't enough to look forward to, Shamim Serif has a second film in the works in which Ray and Sheth are coupled. This time the story takes place in London and Jordan. Read more about "I Can't Think Straight" here and watch the trailer, which features steamy scenes between the two actresses with Goldfrapp playing in the background. Yow.

UPDATE: Enlightenment Productions, Shamin Serif's production company, saw this post and sent me the following info:

"We also have theatrical release dates for both films in limited N. American cities; The World Unseen will be out late October and I Can't think Straight will follow soon after in November."

Check out The World Unseen on Facebook and MySpace.

Where was this show when I needed it?

2008-07-31T13:07:00.000-07:00

A few years ago when I was online dating, I used to get lots of first dates but very few second ones. I knew there was something wrong with me and my approach, but it is difficult to get constructive feedback from people who have rejected you. But now there is a TV show on LOGO that addresses this dilemna! Can't Get A Date profiles gay men and women who are experiencing trouble on the dating scene. The host, a disembodied voice that is a cross between Hal in 2001 and a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, isn't afraid to inform guests that they are neurotic, dress tackily, and have bad skin. He also provides helpful commentary during video playback of their disastrous dates. The guests are then led through a makeover to improve their odds of finding someone. I could have used this show's help a few years ago when I kept striking out!

Big Brother is Watching...My Cats

2008-07-20T15:10:00.003-07:00

I have been a little preoccupied lately because my cat is ill. She was looking skinnier than usual so I took her to the vet to be weighed. It turns out she has "fatty liver syndrome" from not eating enough. She has always been finicky and apparently for the past two months she has preferred to almost starve herself than eat dry food during the day. My vet refers to her as a "capricious eater" because she frequently flip flops in her food preferences and drives me crazy in the process. Fortunately her liver condition is reversible, but requires me to more closely monitor her eating. Thanks to the Panasonic wireless Pet Cam I can do this remotely. This amazing device connects to my DSL router and e-mails me images such as the one above whenever my cats trigger the motion sensor. My reputation as a crazy cat lady has been solidified.

Mama Mia Indeed!

2008-07-20T15:10:00.001-07:00

I first saw Meryl Streep in the incredibly depressing film "Sophie's Choice" back in high school. If someone had told me back then that I would be watching her in an ABBA musical a quarter century later I would have not known how to respond. And I would not have foreseen enjoying a film this much! "Mama Mia" provides the ultimate cinematic escape with its lavish costumes, gorgeous settings, and earnest performances. Meryl Streep plays Donna, an American baby boomer who runs an inn on a fabulous remote Greek Island at which her daughter Sophie is to be wed. Little does Donna know that Sophie has been through mom's diary and narrowed her father's identity to 3 possible suitors--and invited all three men to her wedding. The music retains ABBA's quirky appeal. And the ending is happy. What more can you ask for from your entertainment dollars?

Drunk Flixin'

2008-06-21T19:35:00.001-07:00

This week I was able to score tickets to two films at
AFI's SILVERDOCS festival. I feel privileged to live within walking distance of this event and glad to see it so well supported. Both of my selections, Forbidden Lie$ and Bi the Way were outstanding. But oddly enough the movie that had the biggest impact on me this week was one of my alcohol-fueled netflix choices. You know the ones I am talking about! They arrive in your mailbox but you have no idea how they got on your queue.

Childhood's End received very mixed reviews--most everyone on Netflix hated it but the IMDB folks tended to love it. This love/hate response piqued my curiosity. Not to sound too Libran, but after seeing the movie I can understand both the negative and positive reviews. The netflix contingent were generally disgruntled because Eddie Falco was billed as a star but appears only briefly. Plus the dialog initially was too wordy and stiffly delivered by the cast.

The story centers around two high school students, Greg and Denise. Greg is a Mr. Perfect who launches into an affair with his mother's friend, a hedonistic divorcee. The divorcee's daughter, Denise, is friends with Greg and unbeknownst to her mother, a lesbian. Denise winds up coaxing Rebecca, a wallflower who is infatuated with Greg, out of her shell and into her bed.

The film at first seems unrealistic because Greg's wholesome midwest family are very nonchalant about the taboo scenarios unfolding in their household. Not only are Greg’s parents supportive of their son's dalliance with a woman twice his age, they are nonplussed that his sister, Chloe, has retained him to take nude photos of her for a modeling portfolio (there is actually lots of un-airbrushed nudity thoughout the film). Despite this initial lack of credibility, the second half of the movie hits its stride when the focus turns to the convincing and beautiful romance between Denise and Rebecca.

Denise's confident demeanor masks the pain of parental neglect but provides Rebecca with the strength to overcome her fear of people. Rebecca in turn provides support for Denise to let her guard down. The scene in which they hook up is uncomfortably raw but the writer/director racks up lesbian mitzvah points by featuring two Dusty Springfield songs in the soundtrack. In the end, everyone winds up with what they deserve. And the lesbians wind up the happiest.

Sometimes Netflixing Under the Influence isn’t such a bad thing!

A lid for every pot?

2008-06-15T18:18:00.000-07:00

This web 2.0 social networking blah blah blah stuff has brought a whole new source of social anxiety to my life. Last week I received an invite from a former coworker to join a network called "Tagged". I didn't want to seem rude so I set up a profile, though in retrospect the "invite" was probably the result of importing an e-mail address book and a refusal to join would not been given a second thought.

So anyhow, today I received a couple of messages from Tagged notifying me that someone has clicked "Yes" on me as the result of a game entitled "Meet Me." I couldn't resist investigating further and now have another meaningless pastime that is as addictive as slot machines. Not only does this inane game enable me to continue procrastinating online when things are slow at the Daily Mail, it also brings back the horrors of online dating to such an extent that my relationship has already been strengthened on the basis of viewing such dim prospects.

The rules of the game are simple. You put in your orientation, the age range you are looking for, your zip code and a personalized slogan and VOILA! You are presented with a profile of either a single lesbian or a married bisexual. Here is just a sample:

Wendy
39, Female, Single
“Only a woman knows how to pleasure another woman. Men, do not waste my time & yours. Not interested. ALL MEN are deleted and reported as abusive.”
(Wendy's profile photo shows her on the bed, probably naked, but she mercifully leaves things to the imagination.)

Amanda C
31, Female, Married
“It's not going to lick itself!!!!”
(a strange lesbian unicorn fantasy image was used in lieu of a profile photo)

Kelly C
32, Female
“Don't ever judge someone by flaws because you have just as many”
(Spongebob squarepants cartoon with a "DAMN, YOUS A UGLY BITCH" caption was used in lieu of a profile photo)

Just being online logged in to Tagged made me visible to clueless overseas straight mails, so now my e-mail inbox is filled with gems such as this from a Foozi H:

"hi you very nice i seriou i love your contry pleas give me your msn +sex sex sex ok plzzzzzz"

OK, back to whatever I was doing!

Jenna: Far-Flung Bush Acorn?

2008-06-04T17:08:00.000-07:00

The Bush twins were the best thing to happen to DC since Marlene Cooke. I never tired of reading about the underage alcohol-fueled antics of Twinkle and Turquoise (as they were known by their Secret Service detail). But now Jenna is grown up, married, and doing a children's book tour with mom, which begs the question: how does "Read All About It!" compare to "The Pet Goat?"

If someone had told me in 1983 (while attending high school in Florida, no less) that in 2008 the First Lady and daughter would be appearing on a talk show hosted by an out lesbian, my reaction would have been similar to being told that the Flashdance woman would defy age and star in a lesbian drama series. What a world we live in!

Here is a clip of Jenna and Laura Bush's appearance on Ellen. I really don't enjoy listening to straight people talk at length about their weddings, but interestingly enough, Jenna answers "Sure" when Ellen asks if she could borrow the ranch for her own nuptials. Maybe she was just being polite, but this is significant given her father wanted to amend the Constitution to squelch gay marriage. Laura Bush looks uncomfortable and detached the entire time, as though afraid of succumbing to the gay agenda. Jenna's friendly demeanor, on the other hand, shows promise for a post-gay world.

Bad Girls

2008-05-28T10:05:00.003-07:00

I used to cringe when hearing of British shows being adapted for U.S. TV until I was pleasantly blown away by the American version of "The Office." So I am actually looking forward to the prospect of an HBO rendition of the U.K. prison series "Bad Girls," especially since Alan Ball of Six Feet Under will be involved in the project. Bad Girls ran for 8 seasons in the U.K. The first three seasons featured a steamy relationship between Moroccan-descended / Scottish-accented prison warden Helen and butch inmate Nicki, and were carried by LOGO here in the states. My friends and I bought region-free DVD players so we could enjoy the mischievously diabolical antics of prison officer Jim Fenner and inmate Shell Dockley during subsequent seasons. The series' writers consulted extensively with prisoner rights groups so there was social consciousness to be derived amidst the campy melodrama. I hope the U.S. creators are able to do the show justice, so to speak.

Sapphic Elevator Scenes

2008-05-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

A lot of fuss is being made of the Callie/Erica storyline on Grey's Anatomy, but as of yet I don't think it has advanced the gay agenda on TV any further than the usual mainstream "straight girls pecking during sweeps week." Let's compare the lesbian elevator kissing scenes on Grey's Anatomy vs. Spain's Central Hospital, and you will see why most discerning lesbians turn to cable or European TV to see more authentic, less male-centric girl-on-girl action.

Exhibit 1: Grey's Anatomy. Their motivation appears to be arousing Mr. Man's jealousy (among other things). And he is watching the whole time! Ew!!

Exhibit 2: Central Hospital is a Spanish drama series with a storyline that revolves around the tumultuous relationship between gorgeous pediatrician Maca and head nurse Esther that has lasted seven seasons so far. Below is a scene from early on in the relationship before the couple was LEGALLY MARRIED on the show. About five minutes into this clip, Esther and Maca are in the elevator with a male doctor who poetically rhapsodizes about lesbianism. Maca and Esther, who at this point haven't yet consummated their relationship, exchange knowing glances and rush him out the door before engaging in a passionate kiss that might not make it past U.S. network television censors. Check it out!

I love the digital age.

2007-10-14T16:31:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite activities while procrastinating during packing is following lesbian TV storyline trajectories on You Tube. In the old days it was like diving for crumbs trying to score some girl-on-girl action on TV. If you read in the Blade that there was a lesbian plot being introduced in a TV show you would have to sit through hours of boring hetero-activity (not that there's anything wrong with that) just to catch a peck between 2 straight actresses. The lesbian scene was usually nothing more than a short-lived gimmick during sweeps week to boost ratings.

Some altruistic You Tubers have changed all this. I have recently watched 3 lesbian relationships in 3 different series (2 involving Mischa Barton) without having to sit through breeder by-product. It is like getting your icing without the pound cake!!

The most complicated of the three is Bianca and Maggie from "All My Children." "BAM" mirrors lesbian relationships most closely by being a lot of talk, little action, and loads of DRAMA. Thankfully the site "BAM for Beginners" exists to guide the viewer through the bizarre plot twists.

The Marissa and Alex ("Malex") relationship on the OC was very disappointing. After a steamy kiss on the beach, the brief affair ends up being just a phase for Mischa Barton's character, who leaves her gorgeous gf for a stupid ex-boyfriend. But it is worth seeing because the women are hot!

My favouite pairing has to be Evan Rachel Wood (who can make ANYONE wish to be her real life boyfriend Marilyn Manson for a few seconds) and Mischa Barton (Jessie and Katie) in "Once and Again." They start out as friends with a lot of chemistry who finally exchange a passionate kiss. Subsequent scenes show them as a happy, affectionate couple. Unfortunately the series was cut short before we get to see LGBT teen issues addressed such coming out to parents and harassment at school. But at least I didn't have to watch them break up.

Too Many Kitchens!

2007-10-03T18:38:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I received an e-mail from my landlord informing me I have 60 days to vacate my apartment, a one-bedroom that comprises the upstairs of a house split into 3 rental units. Apparently Montgomery County is forcing him to convert the building to a single family dwelling. I had not envisioned spending the next 60 days dealing with a move (which makes most people's list of top 5 stressful life experiences), but I have now accepted the reality of packing boxes and filling out change of address forms and feel lucky to have found a new place to live in this tight rental market. Next month I will be moving to an apartment a half mile away in a slightly scruffy building nestled amongst bungalows and ethiopian/latin shops and restaurants. I am in the same zipcode, but I think real estate agents refer to my new neighborhood as "North Takoma."

I had no reason to think I had been living in an illegal apartment all this time--the county has inspected the residence at least twice in the five years I have lived there. I decided to call Montgomery County for an explanation as to why I was suddenly being uprooted. The tennant-friendly field supervisor I spoke with explained that the house has *always* been in violation of zoning, but that this was not discovered sooner because of a miscoding during the last rental inspection. Having too many kitchens in the house raises safety concerns.

But here's the disturbing part. According to the field supervisor, this situation is quite common because landlords routinely do cheap conversions to maximize rental profits. However it usually goes unnoticed until SOMEONE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD COMPLAINS. The four of us who live in this building are all tax-paying, law abiding, considerate folks. But for some reason one of our petty bourgeois neighbors took it upon themselves to notify the county that we had too many people in the house. I would hazard a guess they were jealous of our parking permits.

I was here before AFI and the Silver Sprung chain store theme park. I have reveled in this area's diversity, particularly the beef jerky/cannabis/trash fragrance near the intersection of Thayer Avenue and Georgia. But I knew it was the beginning of the end of affordable rental housing near downtown Silver Spring back in 2002 when two yuppies accompanied by their scowling infant were looking at the overpriced carriage house for sale down the street and asking me questions about the neighborhood. To give you a sense of the ruling demographic these days, check out this tongue-in-cheek yet sticker-shock inducing blog post on ThayerAvenue.com extolling the virtues of $900 strollers (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Like parasites that love their host to death, gentrifyers can unintentionally destroy a neighborhood's character. And in this case they've made me feel like riff raff. But I am moving on to a better place and hold no hard feelings.

This Week's Movies

2007-07-08T15:15:00.000-07:00

Sicko

I came to this movie with high hopes that it would generate insightful dialog on what should be one of our top national issues. Moore does a tear-jerking, outrage-inducing job parading a succession of Kafka-esque examples of HMOs refusing to pay claims for desperate Americans. Then he shows HMO CEOs generously dispensing funds to buy influence in Washington. But his documentary falls short when he presents socialized medicine as a panacea. For some reason he didn't use any footage of my UK relatives exchanging National Health Service horror stories, and instead showed upper-middle class Europeans bragging about their government-funded Au Pairs. Clearly having insurance company MBA's calling the shots on health coverage is a recipe for disaster, but do we want the government in charge instead? Hopefully there is a middle ground that can get us out of our current mess so that being sick doesn't spell financial ruin.

Music and Lyrics

Typically I avoid romantic comedies. Romance is no laughing matter unless you are online dating and documenting your horrible experiences on a blog for your friends' amusement. But Music and Lyrics caught my attention because of the prospect of 80's nostalgia. The movie certainly delivers! Hugh Grant plays a cynical has-been who keeps active in the music industry by playing at state fairs to women in my age group and fielding offers from degrading 80's revival shows. His career is rejuvinated when he is called to write a hit for a teenybopper sexpot who performs songs about her bootie in front of an enormous buddha statue. The take-away for me is that pop music imagry can be just as ridiculous now as it was back then.

Happy Endings Part 2

2007-07-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

I've just finished reading 2 lesbian novels in a row (I think I did this to put off diving into the Noam Chomsky book I inexplicably bought) that provide an interesting glimpse into lesbian life in the 50's.

The Illusionist is a risque book purportedly written by a 19 year-old about a 15 year-old girl who has an affair with her father's sadistic mistress. The novel painfully depicts the girls' sterile detachment and sets the stage for the intensity of forbidden passion. The romance does not end well, but by the end of the book the girl comes to her senses and gains some self-respect, so all is not lost. The love scenes are understated, abstract, yet stirring. It was a thrilling read on the metro before and after the dullness of a typical Washington workday.

The Price of Salt is a classic. It was originally written under a pseudonym by Patricia Highsmith, probably best known as the writer of Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train, followed by the Mr. Ripley series. Though initially rejected by her publisher, it sold well and generated a cult following among gays because it has a happy ending--something unheard of in an era in which homosexuality was universally considered a perversion and gay characters were destined to suffer for their deviance.

The book details the boring life of Therese, a frustrated, emotionally distant, and under-employed set designer trapped in an ill-suited relationship with a nice but dull guy. Her anomie is heightened by working a day job in a busy department store during the Christmas holidays. Carole Aird is the glamorous soon-to-be divorcee who enters Therese's life to order a doll and forever alters her destiny.

After pages and pages of romantic tension, the relationship is consummated during a Thelma and Louise-style road trip. After Carol is forced by a vengeful ex-husband to choose between her lover and daughter it appears we are going to settle for the affair being tragically cut short. However Highsmith accelerates to a suspenseful and surprising end. The book includes an afterword from Highsmith written in 1989, six years before her death, in which she describes the circumstances that inspired the book, and the fan mail she received from pre-Stonewall gays. I highly recomend this novel. It was so engrossing I almost missed my metro stop several times!

Bassey Does Pink

2007-06-29T20:22:00.000-07:00

This is how Dame Bassey celebrates her 70th birthday. Incredible.

Happy Endings

2007-06-21T21:23:00.000-07:00

In the midst of all the recent controversy over the abrupt Sopranos non-ending, I finally made it to the finale of Six Feet Under. What a study in contrasts! Though I could appreciate that the Sopranos was quality programming, attempts by a gf and an ex to get me hooked were unsuccessful. Six Feet Under was another story. I initially watched it to get my gf to stop talking about it and was sucked in after a couple of episodes. I laughed, I cried, and I thought after 6 months of viewing all five seasons on netflix I would be glad to have my life back. Not so. I miss the characters already, even the assh*le Nate. The final six minutes was a tear-inducing montage set to the lush haunting Sia track "Breath Me." Even though I am almost 2 years behind schedule in seeing this I could still find coworkers who wanted to talk about it. Here is the final 6 minutes. Thank god for You Tube.

My New Guilty Pleasure

2007-05-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

It has been 17 years since Beverly Hills 90210 first aired and Aaron Spelling set a new standard for teen drama. And now thanks to Amazon.com I can watch a series that redefines the genre for the millennium. "South of Nowhere" is much racier and post-gay than its predecessor, though begins with a similar premise. Spencer, Glen, and Clay Carlin have moved to LA from middle America and must navigate a new social milleau of spoiled, hedonistic, and troubled rich kids.

Clay, the adopted African-American of the family, is introduced to urban concepts such as racial profiling. Glen, the white all-American, is the basketball star of the family and picks fights with his team rival. However, Mommy and Daddy Carlin's biggest concern appears to be their daughter Spencer's new friendship with a lesbian. Spencer's hot friend Ashley is the daughter of a rock musician and seems drawn to the Carlin family's stability. However, Mrs. Carlin catches on quickly and insists that Ashley sleep on the sofa when she spends the night, thus closing a convenient loophole in teenage same-sex romance.

I don't recall my high school being full of lesbians who looked like Spencer and Ashley (or Spashley, as they are referred to in numerous You Tube fan videos) but then again, brother Glen's reaction, when informed that Ashley had "switched teams," reminded me of the response from one of the assholes in my physics class when advised that the hottest female in our senior class was into women--it was a mixture of shock and disbelief that most evolved males are too cool to display in this day and age.

The relationship trajectory of Spashley is not smooth however. First, they have a season of appearing to compete for the attention of a handsome male while the romantic tension builds between them. Season 2 is when they hook up and unleash more drama. I was able to purchase the whole first season on Amazon Unbox, and will probably need to score season 2 very soon. Since the episodes are only 24 minutes, they are delightful petite fours of TV viewing that are quickly consumed.

It's Hard Work!

2007-05-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

I am taking my first week's vacation since January of 2005. Instead of going somewhere exciting I am spring cleaning in Silver Spring!

As many of you know, after college until age 29 I lived in a succession of band houses. After that, I lived with 2 musicians who were enormously talented but messy. And I am not a tidy person myself so I went with the flow. At any rate, I have accumulated enough audio and midi cables to circle the earth several times. Actually I have a lot of stuff, period, and I obviously don't use most of it because it has been sitting in closets since i moved into my own apartment almost 5 years ago.

Today I am cleaning out the closet in the music/living room--the one that is an avalanche waiting to happen whenever I have to find a mic cable.

Some of the more interesting items recovered:

1) a wind-up toy depicting felatio that my ex-husband/lead singer left me (gee thanks!)

2) A cybeko (I was the only 30 year old I knew who had one)

3) An ash tray reportedly used in the British House of Commons

4) 15 Canadian dollars (WTF?!?)

5) An issue of the Blade from 2001 that I kept because it had an article on Lisa and me. It also explains the infamous Jerry Brown lesbian joke as told by Bob Kerrey in the 1992 election. I had always wondered what the lesbian/Jerry Brown joke was (I am sure it was funnier at the time) and now that I have read the abridged version I can get on with my cleaning!!

Things I am keeping for no discernable reason:

1) a sewing needle that was surgically removed from Arthur in 1994.

2) boxes of Blank Christmas cards from years past

The cats are even bored by this task and are wisely staying out of the way.

Monday: 9 pm

The closet looks lovely. I can walk in it, and I can even see that it needs to be vacuumed, a fact that has been concealed from me until now by equipment cases and instrument stands stacked on top of one another. I am working now on the music room. And it is very obvious I did not pack with much scrutiny when fleeing my previous residence. But it has been entertaining going through old papers. I do keep a lot of my bad lyrics and old band promo stuff so I can see what a pretentious twit I was in my youth and how much I have matured (HA!). Curiously I found a sheet of paper on which I wrote down chemically-induced "deep-thoughts" -- a practice that eventually led me to drastically curtail my vices. Here is a choice one: "if you worry about forgetting, you won't come up with anything worth remembering." Yes, indeed.

I ended up streaming netflix movies while organizing CDs and watched Karla -- a flic about Karla Homolka, half of a Canadian husband and wife serial-killing duo. Now I remember where that $15 Canadian dollars came from! Lisa and I went there for a couple of her gigs and we stayed at a scary place the Canadians jokingly referred to as Scarberia, which turns out to be where Karla's husband did some of his raping. In the film, as in real life, the line between battered spouse and sociopath is not clear.

Tuesday: 6pm

I have cleaned the music room. It took over 7 solid hours of dedication and focus today. The power strip jungle is no more, largely in part to those octopus power strip thingies. I think the only person who will notice is my friend Fred.

No More Drug War!

2007-04-30T21:23:00.000-07:00

A few jobs ago I was a web person for a drug policy reform organization. Some people thought i was attracted to this line of work out of self interest, but honestly, when your whole workday is about drugs drugs DRUGS they are the last thing you want to do when you get home. Actually, it was learning on the job about the injustices perpetuated by the war on drugs that forever altered my political orientation. It is only my Hobbesian view of the world that keeps me from being a full-blown Libertarian.

For instance, the war on drugs is a war on people of color. Blacks and whites use drugs at equivalent rates, but African Americans are arrested for drug offenses at six times the rate of whites. And the United States has the world's highest incarceration rate largely due to arresting non-violent drug offenders. And consider this: you are, as a taxpayer, spending $300 a year on the war on drugs.

There were two drug war issues in particular that angered me: one was the inability of people with diseases such as cancer and AIDS to obtain medical marijuana, and the other was the under-treatment of pain. In the case of the former, politicians would generally use 2 excuses to justify keeping medical marijuana illegal:

1) Marijuana has no medical value

2) The existence of marinol, an FDA-approved cannabinoid.

Wait a minute! Even the goverment's own supressed medical study by the Institute of Medicine will tell you 1 is bunk. There are also numerous peer reviewed journal articles here.

But if you still are not convinced, you need to ask yourself, if marijuana has no medical value, why are companies trying to market Delta-9-THC in pill form? Number 1 and number 2 contradict each other.

Anyways, the war on drugs has hit me a little closer to home recently. Once a week or so I wake up with a crushing sinus headache. Ocassionally the cuplrit is too much red wine the previous eveing, but it is just as likely caused by changes in atmospheric pressure. In order to get on with my day I take a sudafed. But as you know, the active ingredient has been pseudophredine, which politicians felt compelled to regulate because if you stockpile a lot of boxes you can make crystal meth. My sudafed got replaced by a "PE" formulation which is about the equivalent of decaf coffee. Now meth lab owners are having to schlep to Mexico for their pseudophredine and I am having to go to the pharmacy window at Safeway and sign a registry for what was previously an over-the-counter medication.

While I was trying in vain with the PE to get rid of my congestion, some of the fluid leaked into my inner ear so I now get a brief sensation of falling if I hastily avert my gaze while walking. All because of the drug war!! This is like a pin prick on the drug casualty scale but aggravating nevertheless. For more on what you can do to try to end the war on drugs visit drugpolicy.org.

Rotating images

2007-04-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

During the 2000 election I lived in Takoma Park, which for those of you outside the DC-area is like Maryland's answer to Berkeley. Eventually being surrounded by smug, self-righteous liberals wore on me as much as much as growing up amongst rednecks in Florida. I rebelled by putting a John McCain bumper sticker on my Festiva. Talk about an atomic-blast in a nuclear-free zone! Several people in the neighborhood approached my housemate demanding to know "who in your household is voting for John McCain?!?" Others probably lived in silent fear that their hermetically sealed enclave had been invaded.

At the time of the 2000 Republican primaries, the sticker was the ultimate anti-Bush accessory. But now, after seeing what a hawk McCain is these days, it must come off my car. NOW. Before my new anti-war activist neighbors escort me to the border of Montgomery County. But I am fussy about what to replace it with -- I don't want my car to be a forum for left-wing political sentiment nor drug policy messages in case I get pulled over by a law and order type. And it must complement my "In case of Rapture Can I have your car?" sticker.

The topic of McCain came up today because it turns out a web designer in Seattle who created a really cool myspace template learned that McCain's campaign was using it but linking to an image on his server, in direct violation of his terms of use. Hilarity ensues. Story here.

Alpha Dog

2007-04-09T18:52:00.000-07:00

Back in my work and surf days, I read the story of Jessie James Hollywood at CourtTV's crimelibrary.

Hollywood was the youngest person on the FBI's most wanted list. The 19-year old drug dealer conspired to kidnap then kill the innocent brother of another dealer who hadn't paid off a drug debt. The intriguing story inspired the movie Alpha Dog, which stars Justin Timberlake and other big names who play small but crucial parts. The writer insists the screenplay is 90% true, and in my opinion they generally stuck to the story Court TV presented, with a depth that illustrated the senselessness of the crime and the motivations, lifestyle, and bad decisions that fueled it. Eva Cassidy's haunting version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" surprisingly plays during the opening credits as a montage of creepy, grainy video clips of young boys sets the scene of privilege and permissive parenting.

Justin Timberlake plays an irresistibly charismatic character named Frankie whose allegiance to Johnny Truelove (based on Jessie James Hollywood) leads to his participation in the impulsive kidnapping of Zack, the 15-year old half-brother of ne'r do well druggie Jake. Zack is rebelling against his strict mother, who is trying to keep him from turning into his older brother. He understandably seals his own fate by refusing a chance to escape and waiting obediently outside a liquor store while Frankie buys them booze. He is later seduced, both literally and figuratively, in a Palm Springs paradise of tough guys, swimming pools, and an endless supply of drugs and young women.

Frankie spends his lazy, drug-hazed days cultivating his father's marijuana crop and entertaining friends at his palace while watching over Zack, who clearly looks up to him. The older youth's pangs of conscience are palpable when he realizes that Truelove intends to have him murder Zack to avoid a life-sentence for kidnapping. The moment that Zack realizes his "friends" intend to kill him and a conflicted Frankie betrays him is heart wrenching. A witness count is provided for the duration of the movie, showing how many people went along with the crime rather than disrupt the drug-fueled status quo. A cosmetically fattened Sharon Stone provides a chilling epilogue as Zack's mom. During her overmedicated ranting from a state mental hospital she exclaims "If God has a purpose for me he needs to get the f*ck down here and tell me what it is!"

I highly recommend this one...

Pop Flowers

2007-03-17T17:59:00.000-07:00

The threads on my comforter recently became unraveled, much to the fascination of George, who enjoys chewing on them. When forced to explore new bedding options I realized what a complicated purchase it was, but fortunately my more domesticated friends were able to teach me the finer points of duvets and down -alternative comforters.

A duvet from the Isaac Mizrahi Pop Flower Bedding Collection caught my eye on the Target website and after reading the rave reviews I decided to take the plunge. Most of the reviews mentioned how much it brightens up a room. One happy customer reported it even got compliments from the cable guy. As you can see above, my bed now GLOWS and my entire bedroom basks in a soft orange light. Even George seems okay with the change. Although Mizrahi's wikipedia entry characterizes him as a bit of a misogynist lout, I love his designs!